Monday, March 13, 2017

La La Land

Why do we let other people decide whether our dreams can or cannot be achieved?

"Grow up! Stop dreaming! Be realistic!"

When dreams are achieved, they become reality. 'Dreams' and 'reality' aren't really that far from each other. Sometimes it's even hard to tell which it is.

Ryan Gosling (duet) - city of stars

Saturday, March 11, 2017

As expected, in this world there are suckers like me.

I have to learn to toughen up. Not to be a mean person, but to be able to be a 'bad' person. I learnt a year ago that there's no point being nice and trying to get the world to like me—that's called being a hypocrite. That was when I decided to protect the things that I cared about, and leave alone the things that I didn't. And I realized that there were a lot of things and people in the world I didn't care about.

I know that we should have a basic level of empathy towards everyone. But there's a story in Fruits Basket about a traveller who entered a forest of demons. One asked the traveller for his ears, and he gave it. Another asked the traveller for his legs. The last asked the traveller for his eyes. All of them had a story: for my daughter, for my grandmother, for myself. And he gave it to all of them. Isn't there a line between compassion and utter foolishness?

At times people look at me askance because of my 'cute act'.

Goddamit it's not an act.

Friday, March 10, 2017

Perhaps...there's a type of person that feels the urge to bring down those better than them? Whether it's someone with more wealth, power, even compassion and peace?

I realized it's better to be surrounded by competent and enlightened souls. Don't you think? Rather than envy them and try to drag them down? What kind of shitty life would that be?

Tuesday, March 7, 2017

Alphonso mangoes

I can only remember from the middle of my dream, where:

Giant wyverns (or something worse?) flew above us, their claws gripping the sheep that was supposed to feed the village in the winter. The horses reared, and although none threw their riders off, some were close to bolting from terror.

Our leader, K, was furious. Our company was one of the strongest. We were supposed to prevent any invasion—instead here we had to watch as the wyverns tore our flocks from us, as if mocking our strength. A terrible urge consumed him, the urge to burn—burn the fields, burn any thing alive, and raze it all to the ground.

We cantered back to the castle and he dismounted, threw his reins aside, and made his way to the king. "The troops are demoralized. They say they don't want to train any longer. They are giving up on our land," he said, struggling to keep his voice level.

"To raise their morale, let me tell them that I'm a black gold rank," he said.

The King shook his head. He looked out the window into the featureless blue sky.

"No," The King replied. "Don't call any attention to ourselves, and don't show any resistance. Let the enemy just pass us by."

The look on K's face was the look of utter betrayal.


What a day. On a random note (I love random notes) recently I reread The Breaker and remembered all over again why I like it so much.

(My favorite mangos are the Alphonso mangoes.)

They say fake it until you make it. Or rather, faking it helps you get there (study-proven. Is it happiness that makes you smile, or smiling that makes you happy? Even on a bad day, forcing yourself to smile can improve your mood). Even over my tiredness, ego, and skepticism, it still works.

Today I did my best. Good job me!

On another note, the Dalai Lama is on Last Week Tonight by John Oliver (youtube)! gosh! All my idols seem to be appearing nearby-ish!

Saturday, March 4, 2017

at the seams

The condition of being human is truly fascinating.

Ed Sheeran - bibia be ye ye 

Tuesday, February 28, 2017

the worth of one soul

A little bird once went around asking, "What would you trade your soul for?"

A tiny chick told the bird, "You don't have a soul." And the bird repeated its question. 

The chick said, "You lost yours a while ago." 

"What would you trade your soul for?" The bird asked. 

"You don't have one," the chick said, and left. 

"What would you trade your soul for?" The bird asked the empty air.

Monday, February 27, 2017

dear my dear

It's twisted but beautiful. I'm not sure that feeling whole, feels this good.

Suzy - yes no maybe